Not knowing _______... 

Can be the worst--and best--thing. 

I have a bad habit of skipping to the end. Of a book, a TV show, a movie, even a magazine article. 

If I know someone who's read the book I'm about to start or seen the movie before I did... I always ask for spoilers.

Like, I know who wins the Bachelor/Bachelorette every season by Episode 1. I knew Bella had a half human/half vampire baby by skimming some of Breaking Dawn while I was still on New Moon. 

I'm a sucker for a good spoiler. Yeah, yeah, yeah.... I'm the worst. 

Funny thing is, knowing the outcome of a good story never really spoils the narrative for me. I still enjoy it all. Beginning to end to middle. And then back to end. Kind of gives me something to look forward to, or in some situations hope for.

Harsh Reality:

Life does not really work that way. Life is not a book and I can't skip to the end. I can't take a peek at the outcome, crossing my fingers that all ends up well, then settling back into life as I know it, waiting for my end to arrive. 

Lately I've been struggling with this absolutely daunting feeling of simply not knowing. Specifically... not knowing what career I'm going to take up when I graduate college next year. And its not just mild uncertainty. I literally have zero ideas about what I could possibly want to do when I graduate. My mind changes like the wind on this particular subject. I am quickly arriving at a crossroads in life, with bags full of debt. Trying not to let that weigh you down can be a little tough. How on earth can I hope for a job that I still can't even conjure up in my mind?  

I know this sounds like the worst. But knowing Jesus has taught me that this can be the best thing. 

Exciting Revelation:

My future is not indeterminate and someone does know the end of my story. Not only does he know the end, but he wrote it... along with the beginning and the middle. 

God, in his vastness, is not daunted by my prayers. He is not afraid of me asking Him what exactly my future holds. And whether or not he decides to clue me in on the events or not really doesn't change the fact that he's looking out for me. 

Romans 8:28 tells us that "God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." 

It goes onto say that God "knew his people in advance." As I look into my murky future, I choose not to be intimidated by the not knowing. The Holy Spirit has given me this sweet assurance that I will be called up to fulfill the perfect plan for my life, designed by God himself, when the moment is right. I don't worry about tomorrow because I have an intimate relationship with the Almighty. And he created all of the tomorrows and todays and yesterdays. Sunrise to Sunset, I put my hope in not what I can see, but in the One who sees in all. It blows my to think that a God that big can love little old me. 

And folks. That's all I really need to know. 

To all you who just don't know...

Chin up ;)

K